We all love a good “Who says no?” trade column. Readers send
in their proposals, and writers figure out which ones makes sense, and which
teams would or wouldn’t be interested. It’s a great gimmick, which is why you
see it show up so often.
Let’s try it with a twist. I’m asking you for your trade
proposals involving anything that teams aren’t actually allowed to trade. That
is, I don’t want to hear about players or picks or signing rights or retained
salary. Instead, I want you to hit me with everything else – coaches, front
offices, mascots, media, anthem singers, you name it.
Get creative, come up with a trade you think would work for
both teams, and send it in. Then I’ll take those ideas and… actually, I don’t
know. This probably won’t work. But it would be fun if it did, so no harm in
trying.
One tip: Keep your trade offers small and specific. One team's coach for another's GM would work way better than something involving vague concepts like "Team A trades their fans to Team B for low taxes".
Email your trade proposals to dgbmailbag@gmail.com and let’s see where
this goes.
Tampa gets Montreal’s next 4 unprotected 1sts and 2nds, 70% of Bell Centre gates for the next 5 years. Montreal gets the Tampa Bay Rays.
ReplyDeleteNHL's most recognizable mascot needs to go play a competitor, and part with a piece of history to get better in the future. Flyers trade Gritty and the rights to the Broad Street Bullies to Florida for the rights to the future fans until 2028 and 5 tax-free years
ReplyDeleteThere have to be some hair trades (including beards and 'stashes) out there.
ReplyDeleteMinnesota receives: 20% of Toronto’s media members, Toronto’s 1967 Stanley cup win, 100% of the Toronto Marlies gate revenue, and David Ayers
ReplyDeleteToronto receives: Michael Russo, Minnesota’s hatred of Norm Green, the city of St. Paul and a Jucy Lucy
Florida receives the 2025 Stanley Cup, Canada receives a quiet media landscape free of “Foam at the Mouth” Oilers talk for 3 months.
ReplyDeleteDallas gets: Andrew Copp, Justin Holl, Tarasenko, future rights to horrible FA signings
ReplyDeleteDetroit gets: their entire scouting staff back that left with Jim Nill
Toronto Maple Leafs trade the 2021 Stanley Cup title from Tampa Bay for 25% of Scotiabank Arena, 50% of the Toronto Raptors & Larry Tanenbaum’s wallet
ReplyDeleteMaple Leafs get the ability to not be the entire focus of a hockey crazed city, the largest in an hockey crazed nation.
ReplyDeleteThe other 31 teams split the spotlight of a million suns equally for more news coverage to the average fan. And 3 more mins a week on ESPN Sportscenter.