Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Tips for dominating your fantasy hockey draft

With the start of the regular season just nine days away, hockey fans will be gathering in basements, pubs and boardrooms across North America this week for their annual fantasy hockey drafts.

No doubt thousands of fans are tweaking their cheat sheets at this very moment, most likely while they're supposed to be working. But while a spreadsheet full of stats and projections may be nice, it won't help you take home the winner's prize money unless you back it up with a top-notch draft night strategy.

If your fantasy league is drafting this week, here are some tips to keep in mind to help you come away with your best roster ever:

  • When forecasting year-end point totals, don't forget to factor in that every player in the league is expected to miss at least 20 games this season due to suspensions from Brendan Shanahan.

  • Just because a player has never had more than 25 points in a season is no reason not to draft him just as highly as players who regularly score twice that, according to Kyle Turris's agent.

  • Make sure you understand your league's structure and are clear on terminology. A head-to-head league is a lot of fun and is run by fans who enjoy direct competition with fellow owners. An elbow-to-head league is less fun and is run by Matt Cooke.

  • When it's time to collect everyone's $20 for the prize pool, ask Terry Pegula if he'd be willing to kick in an extra $10 million up front for no reason. He usually agrees to that.

  • Sure, Sidney Crosby may have a serious head injury, but if he's on your roster just go ahead and put him back in the lineup anyways. It might land you a job on the Penguins' medical staff.

  • Remember, your draft is one of the most important days of the year in terms of building a successful team. So tell those troops in Afghanistan sorry, they're just going to have a pick a time that's more convenient for you.

  • For extra NHL authenticity, remind everyone in the first round of your draft to waste everyone's time with long-winded congratulations to last year's champion and their thanks to whoever is hosting this year's event.

  • Just for fun, take Paul Bissonnette in the last round then send him a message about it on Twitter. He'll probably find that every bit as hilarious as he did the first 500 times it happened.

  • As much fun as a fantasy league can be, never lose sight of the fact that the players you're drafting are more than just names in a row on a spreadsheet. They're also characters from your favourite hockey video game.

  • To help you be on top of your game consider bringing a healthy mid-draft snack like some fresh fruit, unless you're in London, Ont. in which case some loser fan will probably provide some for you.

  • A "sleeper" is a player capable of putting up big numbers, but who remains unknown to most fans. To find one, try building a time machine and traveling back to before we had the Internet.

  • Anaheim Ducks star Corey Perry had 50 goals, 48 assists, 109 PIM and a +9 rating last year, but don't expect him to duplicate those stats this season; he'll probably end up with more or less in at least one of those categories.

  • No matter how many hilarious one-liners those Canucks fans in your league make during the draft, it's still considered poor form to turn to them and say "Wow, you guys are a riot".

  • Jarome Iginla should be at the center of any decent draft strategy. Actually, that's not true - I just wanted to be the first hockey writer to ever use "Jarome Iginla" and "decent" and "center" in the same sentence.




19 comments:

  1. The shot at the Canucks is pure gold. I might have to try that sometime.

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  2. Nice work, the last Iginla joke got me laughing out loud.

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  3. Constructive criticism: these posts are getting too formulaic. This blog was cooler when it was a Leaf blog, not a mere collection of cheeky references to hockey people and events. Still good, but no longer anything special, at least from my humble perspective.

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  4. The Shanahan pulled the trigger, and that was just the first one :D

    great job on this one

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  5. In the last round, is it more appropriate to draft BizNasty or Phil Kessel?

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  6. Sure, Sidney Crosby may have a serious head injury, but if he's on your roster just go ahead and put him back in the lineup anyways. It might land you a job on the Penguins' medical staff.

    Guilty.

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  7. I'm so gonna use that Vancouver line in conversations now :P Great job DGB!

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  8. Mid-draft snack line was gold, Jerry - pure gold.

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  9. Technically speaking, he had a decent centre once. For like, seven games. At the Olympics.

    But yeah, that was it.

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  10. That Kyle Turris jokes was priceless haha

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  11. Nahhh, you weren't the first writer ever...google "jarome iginla decent center" and you will find that you're the third result.

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  12. @Anonymous 9:19: I agree slightly, although the posts are still funny. I wonder what part the Leafs hopelessness plays into it though. Maybe if we see a playoff run or some youngsters emerging as stars next year, DGB will put some of the old-style emotional posts back on.

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  13. Hahha good stuff mate!!

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  14. Kudos from a Caps Fan...funny one on Vancouver, though.

    Thing is, I thought only Habs fans burned $#1+ up after a playoff elimination...

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  15. Caps fan, eh? You really wanna trash the Habs? How'd that work out for you in the 2010 playoffs?

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  16. This Canucks fan laughed outloud at our dig. :)

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  17. you're not funny bro

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  18. How'd it work out for Caps fans? For starters the city is still standing.

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  19. im a habs fan and as for habs being the only ones to start a riot its a canadian thing by the looks of things lol

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