Monday, July 19, 2010

Leaked: Ilya Kovalchuk's contract

Well, it's finally over. After 19 days, Ilya Kovalchuk has finally signed a contract. And after all the rumors and misinformation and flights to California, it turns out he's not going anywhere after all -- he's decided to stay in New Jersey.

But what took him so long? Well, these sorts of contracts aren't exactly simple. Given all the details that need to be sorted out, I think it's understandable that it took Devil's GM Lou Lamoriello and Kovalchuk's agent Jay Grossman a little bit of extra time to work it all out.

Don't believe me? Read it for yourself. Thanks to DGB spies, I've managed to obtain a top secret copy of Kovalchuk's contract, as negotiated by Lamoriello and Grossman.




31 comments:

  1. another great one

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  2. Great stuff, but come on, Kovalchuk would be just as under the radar in LA as well, half this city doesn't even know we have a team that doesn't involve Kobe Bryant.

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  3. Gotta explain the breakfast condiments to me ><

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  4. I was looking at the LA Times website...they have quick links to the Lakers, Dodgers and Angels, as well as their University and Collegiate teams...but no link for the Kings. The media is as much to blame as the fans...if not more.

    I'm sooo curious what kind of money Parise is going to want now.

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  5. More hilarity from DGB. The Selke Trophy and various crossed-out signing dates had me in stitches.

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  6. The gf & I legit died at the Selke Trophy & Islanders stuff. Awesome, prolly your best of the year so far.

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  7. I'm making a list of everyone who makes "no one wants to play in Edmonton" jokes so I can come back to laugh at you once we have a good team again, and Katz builds a dome over the entire city and seals us into a tropical environment.

    ONE DAY!!1! *shakes fist at the sky*

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  8. explanation of the breakfast condiment thing:

    http://www.nj.com/devils/index.ssf/2010/04/politi_furious_lou_lamoriello.html

    coles: Lou threw a jar of jam against a wall, breaking it.

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  9. Another modern day classic. Are all posts modern day classics?

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  10. BWAHAHAHA I think I just peed myself.

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  11. What does the comment about condiments not being thrown at his head mean?

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  12. DGB: Great one. Worth the wait.

    @ John - This was pretty good, but Gary Bettman's Gmail Account and the Suspension Decision Tree were DGB's two best posts of they year by far.

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  13. Methinks the wait just made it possible to add a few more jokes in there, like the crossed out dates.

    Well done again sir.

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  14. Hilarious! I loved the parts about the no-trade clause, the jelly, and the Selke Trophy bonus!

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  15. What about the clause that allows him to skate Figure 8s at the blueline while the rest of the team struggles to get the puck off the boards?

    That clause KILLED us here in Atlanta!

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  16. DGB, love your stuff, but can you please stop putting pictures of "contracts" and other documents into your posts?

    They never seem to display correctly for me. Maybe you can copy and paste the text into the body of your blog post too?

    Or maybe it's because you have it in flickr instead of embedding it. Either way, please fix.

    - A fan

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  17. As per all of his previous contracts the player shall be entitled to fully paid vacation time during the months of May or June.

    Coming from a Devils fan.Ouch, well played sir.

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  18. @Anonymous who can't see the image...

    What about the "download" link, does that allow you to see the image?

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  19. Now I see what the NHL rejected it....Lou must have left that line in

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  20. DGB, the NHL would've never seen it if you didn't leak it.

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  21. dgb... i guess its time to add a great big red diagonal VOID across the picture of kovalchuks "contract"....
    just sayin...

    - cheers.... david

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  22. Maybe relabel "Download" to "Download picture", or "Download image of document", or something so someone not seeing the picture will know what "download" refers to?

    Wait a minute, Cliff, is that you? Nonis will open it for you.

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  23. Hi everyone, we are trying to honour Garry Valk by having this building named after him?

    Why?

    Well, yes he was a Maple Leaf, and played his guts out, receiving little credit, but he also did a ton of charity work in Toronto, raising awareness of different causes and often appearing in public with charities to try and attract volunteers and donors. He was well known while in Toronto for bringing great attention to Canadian Blood Services to raise blood donations for accident victims, specifically children.

    So - please, as you get multiple votes, gives a few to Garry Valk Plaza. The contest may not have been the greatest idea by the developer, but Valk deserves this sort of attention from Torontonians. So far we have heard the Valk campaign mentioned on The Score and 102.1 The Edge Toronto.

    Garry Valk Plaza - Garry would vote for you if you were trying to win this contest.

    http://www.nameourcondo.com/entry/319

    Thank you!!!

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  24. http://tdotsports1.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/ilya-kovalchuk-the-leaf/

    Good read, I can admit I wanted the guy in blue and white...

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  25. So that explains why the contract is void. There was no mention of a concrete underground bunker in the CBA.

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  26. Off topic but another sign that Stevie Y may know what he's doing in Tampa.

    Lightning sign Chris Durno.

    All they need to do now is bring in Wendel Clark as Director of Player Development, ???, and Profit.

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  27. Worst part of the offseason? Lower number of DGB posts.

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