Saturday, January 28, 2012

Things overheard backstage at the NHL all-star fantasy draft

Meanwhile, Dany Heatley and Wade
Redden watched at home in awkward silence.
Thursday night saw Ottawa play host to the second annual NHL all-star fantasy draft. The spectacle of players drafting each other has already become one of the most anticipated nights of the year, and this year’s edition didn’t disappoint. Between speculation over who’d go first, the sight of teammates being split up and the drama of who’d be the unfortunate last player picked, the night had plenty of entertainment value.

Fans watching on television were also treated to microphones on several players to record the conversations that happened off-camera. But due to time constraints, the broadcast couldn’t show everything that was being said behind the scenes. And according to sources, viewers missed out on some interesting sound bites.

Here’s a collection of some of the comments that were overheard over the course of the all-star draft.

  • I guess Dion Phaneuf must be really interested in land titles and property rights, since the first thing he asks every player he meets is whether they’ve done any surveys lately.

  • Well, Pavel Datsyuk went first overall, so I guess we can all go home. If there’s one thing Ottawa hockey fans know about drafts, it’s that no one remembers number two.

  • So both captains seemed to be building their rosters without any sort of solid plan or even putting the minimal amount of actual thought into what they’re doing. So, just wondering… are either of you guys looking for a job, and can you speak French?

  • For the last time, Zdeno, when you make a pick you have to wait for the player to walk down the hall from the backstage area. Please stop reaching in and grabbing them.

  • Awkward moment just now: James Duthie brought out a quarter for the opening coin flip and Gary Bettman ran up and tried to sell him the Coyotes.

  • I think I just heard one of the players say something charismatic and insightful. Quick, somebody tase him before the cameras come back on!

  • Wow, Ryan Suter and Shea Weber on separate teams, I didn’t think we’d ever see that until the trade deadline.

  • All these Ottawa Senator fans keep booing the Maple Leafs because the two teams used to have a super intense rivalry the last time Toronto was in the playoffs. Somebody explain it to Jordan Eberle, since he wasn’t born yet.

  • Hey look, just what every 22-year-old millionaire pro athlete in California wants: a sedan!

  • One team wound up with all the Bruins and the other one has all the Canucks, so that should make for a pretty even matchup in the skills competition “Incessant Persecution Complex” event.

  • The last thing I remember is saying is “All this hype about Beaver Tails and they turn out to just be a piece of bread with sugar on it”, and then half of Ottawa was chasing me down the street with torches and pitchforks.

  • This is boring. Next year I’m totally going to give somebody a leaping headshot so I get to stay home.

  • "Don’t worry Logan, I was the last pick in last year’s draft and I know how you feel right now, but I can tell you from experience that after a few days everyone will have forgotten all about the whole thing." At least I think that’s what Phil Kessel said he wanted to tell you, I’ll ask him once he finishes doing cartwheels down the hallway while screaming "Thank you lord, my personal hell has finally ended".

  • I just saw Tim Thomas chatting with Dale Hunter, which makes sense, since he can’t figure out how to make proper use of Capitals either.




28 comments:

  1. Beauty on the Daigle joke. Had to stop reading I laughed so hard, great as always!

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  2. BOOOOOOOOOOOO @ Suter/Weber joke. Rest of it was gold though.

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  3. I liked the Coyotes joke :)

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  4. The Thomas/Hunter joke hurts, but it was good.

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  5. These articles have been gold lately, for awhile there I thought you had lost it but at least eklund's blog was still hilarious.

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    1. Agree, there were a few doozies for a but lately Ive definitely had some genuine laughs again. His twitter is actually hilarious too. I loved the Zdeno Chara one. So ridiculous but so hilarious!

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  6. That Thomas joke was terrible. Terriawful.

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  7. I don't get the Phaneuf one:(

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    1. A player survey recently put Dion Phaneuf as the most overrated player in the league. The joke is the difference between a player survey and a land survey. Not one of the better lines of this article.

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    2. He is the most overrated player in the league...

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  8. This is why the Tim Thomas to the Whitehouse story will never die, there are just too many awesome jokes!

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  9. Yeah, I too really Enjoyed the Tim Thomas Joke.

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  10. alexandre daigle joke..? what? where? and whats the deal with the whole beaver tails remark? im from southern california... luuuuucy.. joo got some splainin to do...

    ~ cheers...

    as if the phoenix coyotes are really worth 25¢ american..

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    1. The no-one remembers the #2 joke is the Daigle joke. Daigle went #1 overall in 93 and was followed by Pronger at #2. Which one is better remembered now?

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    2. It wouldn't have been 'the Daigle joke' if Daigle himself hadn't said something to the effect of "I want to go first overall, because nobody remembers number 2."

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    3. To be fair, Davegeek, Daigle is probably still almost as well-remembered to this day as Chris Pronger is. Sure, being remembered as a six-time all-star and Stanley Cup winner is a bit different than being remembered as a total bust . . . but hey, if all he wanted was to be remembered, then he pulled it off!


      http://bowlinginthedark.blogspot.com/2011/02/peter-forsbergs-remaining-functional.html

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  11. Hate to admit this but the Dany Heatley caption and beaver tail jokes went over my head. Loved the rest though.

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    1. ottawa traded hossa for heatley, and kept redden over chara. hossa and chara are all stars, heatley and redden not.

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    2. Redden might be an AHL all star.

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    3. Google 'beavertails'. And seek them out the next time you're in Canada. They are freaking delicious deep fried pastry things. I used to eat pizza beavertails every time I went snowboarding on Grouse Mountain...there was a little beaver tail shack right off the main run.


      /yum

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  12. Why do you no longer bash Cox and Berger?

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  13. The Daigle jokes never get old! :-)

    And I loved the Kessel and Ovechkin jokes, too.
    5 stars

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  14. In the week after the 1st survey, Phaneuf was considered one if the hardest hitters in the league. So if being a young and improving leader who is on pace for 45-50 points as a d-man, and is one of the hardest hitters is the league is considered overrated, where can we find a couple more players like him?

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    1. You're out of your element, Mrs. Phaneuf

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    2. I'm a Leaf fan (for 54 years) but I agree Phaneuf is over-rated. He'd be a lot better if he didn't loaf so much.

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  15. webber or suter to philly only a matter of time

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  16. Gold as always! I always look forward to your posts!

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