Brendan Shanahan's video message to NHL players

After weeks of near-unanimous praise, the hockey world seems to have turned on Brendan Shanahan. He's been criticized by various media, anonymous GMs and Don Cherry, and many fans are starting to wonder whether he's really an improvement over Colin Campbell.

To his credit, Shanahan doesn't seem to be letting the negativity get to him. From all accounts, he's shrugged off the criticism as an unpleasant but inevitable part of the job. And he's standing by his rulings, pointing out more than once that they're consistent with the introductory video he sent to all NHL players before the season began.

But while we've all heard about this infamous video, nobody outside the league had seen it... until now. DGB spies were able to get their hands on a copy, and let's just say it's not quite what we were expecting.

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The lyrics
You're about to witness hockey in it's most purest,
Most safest form, most securest
One man courtroom: Lawyer, judge, jurist.
Straight from the old school, the rulebook is back.

Looks like Bettman got a new Colie,
Oh God, the Flyers got a real goalie,
Everything's changing, we're fixing problems
No more complaining, I'm here to solve the...

Headshots and elbows, spears, fists, goons
enforcers, (ring ring), Shanny on line two
I'm dropping the gloves on you, play time's done
Hockey's in a full state of 911, so...

So let's cut through the tension
I'm about to start handing out the suspensions
Cause the games being ruined
By the thugs and the goons
They've got to go
And I'm here to end them.

So let's cut through the tension
I'm about to start handing out the suspensions
So expect to do time
If you hit from behind
Like certain Flyers
I could probably mention

Quick gotta move fast, gotta create video,
Saw another cheap hit, so better head for my studio.
Look at all the crap that goes on for no reason,
I suspended half the league and it was only pre-season,

So head to the bench while I get the tape queued.
If it's an in-person hearing then you know that you're screwed.
You put him down for the count? Expect a large amount.
And you can find out all the details on my twitter account

And I don't even care if Don Cherry complains
And trashes Grimson and Nilan and screw up their names
He's making it all up, there's no such thing,
Like a Canuck who won't dive and owns a ring

So be on high alert, 'cause if someone gets hurt.
You'll disappear faster than Ron Maclean's shirt
When the sentence comes down you're heading straight for the slammer.
Welcome to the era of the Shana-Ban Hammer.

So let's cut through the tension
I'm about to start handing out the suspensions
Cause if you hit a guy wrong
I'll sit you down for so long
That by the end
You'll be collecting a pension

So let's cut through the tension
I'm about to start handing out the suspensions
And I don't wanna name names
But I've got 40 games
Ready to go
For someone on the Penguins