Wednesday, June 30, 2010

NHL free agency through the years

With free agency season upon us, all eyes are focused on this year's crop of UFAs. Who'll get the best deal? Who'll bolt for the KHL? Which teams will improve, and which will be left on the sidelines?

We'll know soon enough. But in the meantime, let's remind ourselves of how unpredictable free agency can be by looking back at some notable signings from recent years.

Daniel and Henrik Sedin, Vancouver, 2009 - After signing a last-minute extension with the Canucks, the twins' plans to celebrate with a slice of that big cake that showed up on their doorstep that morning are ruined at 12:01 when Brian Burke awkwardly pops out of it.

Colton Orr, Toronto, 2009 - Orr becomes one of the highest paid enforcers in league history, thanks to a deal with Toronto that pays him a quarter for every time he punches Matt Carkner in the face.

Marion Gaborik, New York, 2009 - The Rangers sign the oft-injured star to a $37.5M deal. While other teams were willing to match the money, the Rangers were the only team to meet Gaborik's demands of a "no playoff-clinching shooutout" clause.

Brian Campbell & Cristobal Huet, Chicago, 2008 - The Blackhawks sign the pair to long-term contracts that most observers feel are significantly overpriced. While many fans fear the contracts will cripple the Hawks, the front office assures fans that the team will be able to stay under the salary cap thanks to careful roster management, judicious use of buyouts, or at least some other team eventually hiring Rick Dudley.

Thomas Vanek, Edmonton, 2007 - After an 84-point season, Vanek signs a $50M offer sheet with the Oilers which the Sabres are forced to match. After realizing how close he came to spending the rest of his career in Edmonton, a shaken Vanek vows to never risk attracting the Oilers' attention again by spending the next several seasons disguised as a second-liner.

Gary Roberts, Toronto, 2000 - Roberts agrees to terms with the Leafs, choosing their contract of just under $3M a season over the Senators' offer of "Oh god, sir, please don't hurt us, take whatever you want and just leave us alone".

Chris Drury and Scott Gomez, New York, 2007 - Upon learning that critics are calling the signings the worst free agent contracts that are even theoretically possible, Glen Sather mutters "we'll see about that" and circles Wade Redden's name with a yellow highlighter.

Sean Avery, Dallas, 2008 - Upon signing Avery, Stars general manager Brett Hull tells him "Hey, I know you're better known as a Ranger, but we don't mind picking up other teams' sloppy seconds. Ha ha! Um, why are you writing that down?"

Peter Forsberg, Philadelphia, 2005 - Coming out of the NHL lockout, Forsberg shuns the Avalanche to sign with the Flyers. "I really wanted to make the right decision," Forsberg tells reporters, "because I know that the experience of being an unrestricted free agent is one I'll only ever get to have once, maybe twice, per year, for the rest of my career."

Jason Blake, Toronto, 2007 - The Leafs agree to terms with Blake early in the day, although the actual contract signing is delayed several hours due to technical problems after it's discovered that John Ferguson Jr. had earlier tried to fax himself a grilled cheese sandwich.




22 comments:

  1. wonderful! loved the Vanek one.

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  2. Henril Sedin?

    Asides from that, great post :)

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  3. @Flynn...

    No idea what you're talking about.

    Cough.

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  4. The saddest part of that...I'd actually truly believe the Glen Sather one was true. I kinda believe he's stupid enough to try to out-stupid himself.

    Good stuff!

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  5. .... a grilled cheese sandwich.LOL
    Thanks.

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  6. For Blake, a grilled cheese would still have been overpaying him.

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  7. hahaha nooiiceeee

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  8. I'm thinking you're insulting Rick Dudley, but just the fact that you're mentioning him wins me over on this one, considering he's my cousin.

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  9. the avery one made me LOL

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  10. Thank a lot. I just tried to fax myself a grilled cheese sandwich and now the machine is all gooey.

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  11. Was thinking you were having an off day, until I read the Gomez/Drury bit.

    Btw, you may need some more lozenges for that cough. It's Cristobal, to start with. Also, you might want to reconsider 2 of the 3 'thats' in the big cake sentence (try, in order, that, which and in the) and add a comma after 12:01.

    Sorry. My parents paid a mint for me to get a degree in journalism. I feel guilty not doing something with it.

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  12. Adding insult to injury, what's with the 'forward' in the Gaborik signing?

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  13. "Chris Drury and Scott Gomez, New York, 2007 - Upon learning that critics are calling the signings the worst free agent contracts that are even theoretically possible, Glen Sather mutters "we'll see about that" and circles Wade Redden's name with a yellow highlighter."

    I will forever quote this.

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  14. a shaken Vanek vows to never risk attracting the Oilers' attention again by spending the rest of his career disguised as a second-liner.

    I actually wish this was the real reason.

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  15. I don't know how you do it, but wow.

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  16. Maybe you should strikethrough Redden's name and add Boogaard's.

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  17. Hahahaha! Awesome post!

    Oh! BTW, I believe it's Marian Gaborik and Christobald Huet.

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  18. You're right about MariAn Gaborik, JB, but Huet's first name is indeed Cristobal with no H and no D. :)

    1/2 :D

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  19. Could everyone please stop focusing on my typos for a few seconds, and instead give me credit for not referring to Matt Carker as "Terry" for the first time in this blog's history?

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  20. as someone else said, sather obviously highlighted boogards name after some people believed redden to be the pinnacle of his misjudged signings.

    obviously he failed with gaborik since he failed to be injured for 80% of the games, but i bet sather is crossing his fingers for it to happen next season.

    on the other hand, if the salary cap gets taken away in the next cba, no team will benefit more from that than the rangers. not that it would keep him from trading away prospects or refusing to sign them to good deals. =P

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  21. it's Matt "Carkner"

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