Christmas cancelled

After watching the Leafs get crushed 8-2, at home, by the last place Dallas Stars tonight, I did the only thing a self-respecting Leaf fan could do: woke my infant daughter, sat her down, and explained that Christmas had been cancelled.

When she tearfully asked why Santa wasn't coming to visit her this year, I explained that it was very complicated. But mostly, it was because Vesa Toskala handles rebounds like a tennis ball street hockey goalie with a baseball cap for a glove, the Leafs defence is so soft that Mike Ribeiro can drive to the net against them, and Jason Blake still celebrates goals that cut a deficit to 7-1.

Then, one by one, I opened all her Christmas presents in front of her, held them up, and threw them into the furnace. And that part wasn't fun, because little Rover put up a hell of a fight.

Then I sent her back to bed. At the top of the stairs she turned and asked if it was true what the kids at daycare said, that there wouldn't be another Christmas for years because things were just going to get worse and worse with no hope of improving for a generation. I informed her that those kids were Sens fans, and that there was still a chance that things would be better for us next year, and the year after, because a nice man named Brian Burke wasn't going to put up with this crap much longer.

Then I tucked her in, read her Wendel and the Great One until she fell asleep, and sat in the dark trying to figure how to get the smell of burnt fur out of the walls.

So thanks a lof, Leafs. And happy holidays.