Great Obscure Moments in Leafs History - The final seconds of game seven against the Sharks

Great Obscure Moments in Leafs History - An ongoing series to honor the greatest, completely meaningless moments in Toronto Maple Leaf history.

By the time the second round of the 1994 playoffs rolled around, the Leafs had seen their last four playoff series end in the following ways:

• A stunning game seven victory in overtime on the road against a heavy favorite, with the winning goal scored by a Russian child.
  
• A game seven blowout at home that was so one-sided that they got bored with scoring on the other team's goalie and tried to kill him instead.
  
• A one-goal game seven home loss that was so soul-scarring that I still can't talk about to this day.
  
• A 1-0 road victory that permanently silenced the loudest building in the NHL.

That all happened in just 13 months. When it came to ways to end a playoff series, Leaf fans had run the gamut. There was absolutely nothing that could happen that they hadn't seen before.

What's that, Sylvain Lefebvre? You say you have an idea?

Hm, OK. Yes, that's a new one.

If you missed it, that's Leafs defenceman Lefebvre deciding, for some reason, to fire off a 200-foot wrist shot as time expires. But instead of floating down the ice, his shot drills innocent bystander Peter Zezel point blank in the chest. The puck bounces past a confused Felix Potvin and into the Leafs' net.

The goal was ultimately meaningless, since the Leafs had a 4-1 lead at the time. But it still results in the most muted game seven victory celebration in the history of sport, with all six Leafs on the ice standing around and staring at each in confusion. (Years later, Paul Maurice would install this as the team's official defensive system.)

Here are a half dozen things I love about this play.

Felix Potvin's reaction
Watch as Potvin turns around to stare at Lefebvre, then goes into his post-game crossbar tapping routine, then stops and turns to Lefebvre again.

I would love to know what was said here. I'm guessing it was something along the lines of "qu'est que c'est the hell was that, tabernac?" I think Potvin briefly considered going Hextall on him.

The Sharks' celebration
Nice work by the one Shark in the middle of the screen (who may or may not be Jeff Norton) who does the exaggerated stick-in-the-air celebration. Even though his season is officially over, he's going to passive-aggressively milk this late goal for all it's worth. Life is all about savoring the small victories.

In hindsight, of course, he was right. This goal is the best thing that's ever happened to the San Jose Sharks in the playoffs.

The fallout
There wasn't any. Nobody even remembers that this play happened.

But while we're on the topic, here's a question: when you think of a recent example of a defenceman scoring into his own net, who do you think of?

It's Bryan McCabe, isn't it?

Why? How did this become the gold standard for NHL own goals? I know McCabe was a whiny stiff by the end of his time in Toronto, but he scored his goal during a mad goalmouth scramble at the end of a meaningless regular season game that the Leafs were going to lose in a shootout anyways.

Meanwhile, Chris Phillips scored the Stanley Cup winning goal into his own net while the other team was changing lines, and nobody ever mentions it. Doesn't that belong up there with Bill Buckner and Scott Norwood?

And yet McCabe's play follows him for life, and Phillips never hears another word of it. Is it because McCabe once had a funny haircut? We're all OK with this? I mean, just let me know and I'll play along...

The gambling implications
I don't know what the spread or over-under on the game was. But you know that somebody, somewhere, lost a lot of money on this play. I'm sure they laugh about it now, though. They'd probably give this whole post a big thumbs up. You know, if they had any thumbs left.

Kevin Collins
The highlight of the video is the frenzied reaction of linesman Kevin Collins, who storms onto the scene, waving his arms and demanding that everyone pay attention to him.

Veteran ref Terry Gregson seems ready to let the whole thing go, but not Collins. He's going to make sure the goal counts, dammit. Watch his reaction at 0:25 when the horn blows, and he starts shrieking "NO!" like the hero in an 80's action movie who just saw his child gunned down.

Now it would be easy to make fun of Collins here, since he's acting like the smarmy grade school kid who reminds the teacher that they forgot to assign any homework. But he's right. A goal is a goal, and this one needs to count.

After all, you can't ignore the rules just because you're in the late stages of a crucial playoff game, right Kevin? You have to be able to make the tough call against the home team. The rules are the rules, and you can't just take the easy way out and pretend you didn't see what was right in front of you.

Right Kevin?

(Breathes deeply into a paper bag.)

Now I'm angry. I need to see something completely ridiculous to make me feel better about my life.

Damian Rhodes' hair
Yep, that'll do it.

Hey, looks like somebody's been using his Head and Shoulders!

Signs that you too may be getting hockey advice from a deranged homeless person

Hire him. This guy looks legit.

The strangest story of the week came out of Pittsburgh, where we learned the sad tale of a troubled homeless man who had been sending Mario Lemieux tips on how to better run the Penguins.

While this was clearly an extreme case, the fact remains that those in positions of power in the NHL are surrounded on all sides by people offering them advice. And unfortunately, not all of those people are going to be all there.

In an attempt to help out the NHL's power elite, here are a dozen signs that the person giving you hockey advice may in fact be a crazy homeless person.

• His entire offensive gameplan consists of teaching your players how to do the breakaway move from NHL '94.
  
  
• Whenever the team is faced with a difficult financial decision, he suggests calling Sergei Fedorov for advice.
  
  
• He's started a petition to have the Maple Leafs adopt a new uniform that would feature their old vintage style jersey and no pants.
  
  
• He spends eight hours a day hanging out in front of his mail box waiting for a qualifying offer from Dale Tallon.
  
  
• He suggests that the team start new a playoff tradition by encouraging fans to mark key moments of crucial games by throwing an octomom on the ice.
  
  
• He was the one who convinced you to give Chris Pronger a seven year extension.
  
  
• He repeatedly suggests that "Maybe you should run that one by Mr. Wang", but you don't work for the Islanders.
  
  
• The only job he lists on his resume is "Senior public relations consultant to Dany Heatley".
  
  
• For some reason, he's wearing Chris Nilan's bathing suit under his clothes.
  
  
• He keeps going on and on about how the Leafs should sign Chris Durno.
  
  
• His laptop is full of downloads titled "Sideline reporter naked peephole video", but they're all of Pierre McGuire.
  
  
• Every time he has a difficult decision to make, you catch him staring at his "WWJFJD?" bracelet.

Etiquette tips for the Jason Spezza wedding

The happy couple.

The big talk in Ottawa this week has been about the Jason Spezza wedding, and the question of how the media should handle an appearance by Dany Heatley. Local media debated the delicate question of whether it was appropriate to use the occasion to ask Heatley about his trade demands.

That question is moot now, since Heatley has decided not to show up. But the wedding will still be a major social event featuring plenty of NHL personalities, and that means there will be any number of etiquette questions that attendees may need help sorting through.

I know that several DGB readers are planning to attend this weekend's ceremony. So to help avoid any embarrassment, here's a handy etiquette guide. Feel free to print it out and take it with you.

No matter how adorable he looks in his little tuxedo, DO NOT tell Cory Clouston that you're sure he'll do a great job as ring boy.

DO NOT linger and stare at Wade Redden as he hands out programs at the front door, even though it will be the first time you've seen him actually do anything in two years.

If you see a hockey player who's sobbing and crying constantly, DO NOT assume that they're overcome with the emotion of the ceremony. It could also be Sidney Crosby.

When Bryan Murray is invited up to do the traditional readings from Ephesians, Colossians and Ecclesiastes, DO put on your raincoat.

When Spezza makes his vow to remain forever faithful, DO NOT laugh when Daniel Alfredsson leans over and whispers "I guarantee it".

DO be understanding if there's confusion on the groom's side during the exchange of rings. Remember, they're Ottawa Senators -- none of them have ever seen a ring before.

When the minister delivers his sermon on the importance of honoring commitments, DO NOT interrupt him to point out that the phrase "overpaid, one-eyed, gap-toothed, cherry picking glory boy" does not actually appear in the bible.

If you see Brian Burke at the reception, DO alert security. He wasn't invited, he just automatically shows up anywhere he thinks there might be a live microphone.

DO NOT get stuck behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line. This isn't really etiquette, but it will prevent you from starving to death.

Occasional place setting mixups are to be expected at a crowded reception. DO NOT make a big deal out of the fact that everyone has a cup except Marian Hossa.

No matter how nice his tuxedo looks, DO NOT ask Mike Comrie which ventriloquist supply store he got it at.

If you are seated next to Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwood, DO NOT repeatedly refer to her as "the poor man's Jessica Simpson". One time is enough.

If the bride informs you that they're planning an extended honeymoon in August, DO NOT create an awkward situation by turning to Spezza and saying "Wait, won't that interfere with you attending the Canadian Olympic team training camp?"

If you run into Martin Gerber at the reception, DO NOT ask him if he enjoyed the ceremony. He's actually just there to bus tables.

If you are Eugene Melnyk, no matter how much you want to create a sense of excitement and team spirit, DO NOT hire the gladiator guy to stand next to Spezza's honeymoon bed shouting "RISE UP!"

Maple Leafs Overtime Heroes: Gary Roberts vs the Senators

Maple Leafs Overtime Heroes is an ongoing series where we'll look back at memorable Leaf playoff overtime goals. Today's goal is Gary Roberts' triple overtime winner against the Senators in game two of their 2002 playoff series.

In the opening game of their 2002 second round series, the Ottawa Senators handed the Maple Leafs their most lopsided playoff loss of the modern era.

Oh sure, there have been games with a bigger margin of victory than that night's 5-0 Sens win. But anyone who saw the game would know that it could have been much worse. The Senators scored all five goals by the midway mark of the second period, and then shut it down. If they'd wanted to, they could have won 10-0 that night. It was that bad.

So heading into game two, the Leafs were already facing a must-win. With a long list of injured players that included captain Mats Sundin, it would have been all but impossible for Toronto to come back from a 2-0 series deficit. After all, they would be playing the next two games in Ottawa in front of 19,000 rabid fans, almost half of whom would have been cheering for the Senators.

No momentum. No captain. No hope. And no choice but to find some way, any way, to win.

Hmm... what would Gary do?

Let's review the tape:

The goal
Not much to talk about here, since the goal takes exactly two seconds. Let's just saw it's awful, and move on to everything that happens after.

Patrick Lalime's reaction
When we looked at the Mike Foligno overtime goal, I credited Tim Cheveldae with one of the great overtime "losing goaltender sprint off the ice" moves of all-time.

If you've ever wondered why goalies do that, here's Patrick Lalime to show you the alternative. As soon as the goal goes in, he does everything short of put a gun in his mouth.

Now I always thought Lalime got a bad rap from Ottawa fans, since we would have need a GAA of -1.00 to outduel Curtis Joseph or Eddie Belfour. But dear lord, Patrick, pull yourself together and get off the ice. The Sens were a young team, and nothing says "we don't really think we can win" like a goaltender who responds to one bad goal like my two-year-old realizing the Dora DVD has ended.

Of course, Lalime would later top himself in game seven of the 2004 series when he reacted to Joe Nieuwendyk's second goal by slumping to his knees, screaming something, then crawling over the zamboni and wrapping his lips around the tailpipe.

Still not the worst thing a Senator has
ever put up their nose

Wade Redden
The clearcut highlight of the entire video is the shot at 0:30 of Wade Redden sitting on the bench with his finger up his nose, reacting to the goal by saying something that looks vaguely like "that's freaking great". Don't read lips, kids!

By the way, "Wade Redden sitting on the bench with his finger up his nose" was the title of the New York Rangers 2008-09 year in review DVD.

Ken Dryden clapping
I need to get this off my chest: What the hell was the deal with the way Ken Dryden clapped? This always bothered me. It was always the same: angry face, way too much intensity, hands held uncomfortably high, and just slamming his palms together with no coordination at all.

How is it possible to look so uncool when you're clapping? Are we sure this guy was one of the greatest players of his generation? Is it possible he died in 1999 and the Leafs replaced him in the press box with a badly made life-sized puppet?

You're with me, pleather.

Rod Bryden's jacket
I don't even have a punchline.

But I do have questions, such as: Where did he get that jacket? Is there some sort of "custom made novelty leather jacket" store that only rich people have access to? Has anyone other than Rod Bryden and Michael Jackson ever appeared in public wearing a bright red leather jacket? And where is that jacket now, is it for sale, and how much do you want for it?

Walter Gretzky?
Wait, is that Walter Gretzky appearing for a brief moment in a crowd shot? This guy is practically hockey royalty. Quick, everyone be on their best behavior! And for god's sake, don't let the mascot try to hump anything!

Carlton the Beat humping the glass
Yes, OK, so Carlton humps the glass at 2:00. Look folks, he's a bear. He has instincts. If you're going to hire a bear to be part of your game day marketing staff, this is just part of the deal. If the Leafs didn't think that was acceptable behavior, they shouldn't have let him walk around wearing a jersey and no pants.

The Most Obscure Guy in the Pile
I'm launching a new feature: "The Most Obscure Guy in the Pile", where we look at famous celebrations and try to pick out the most insignificant player involved.

Our inaugural winner is... Anders Eriksson! He's the guy wearing #44 and giving Roberts an extended head rub. This completely useless defenceman played 38 career games for the Leafs, recorded no goals and two assists, was once traded for Chris Chelios, and recently won the coveted "Most Swedish Name of All-time" award. There's at least a 90% chance that Roberts has no idea who he is.

Congratulations, Anders! Now get off the ice. And, um, you may not want to brush up against the glass on your way out.

Should the Maple Leafs change logos?

Is it time for the Maple Leafs to update their famous logo? Some fans think they do, and they've started a web site and petition to make their case.

To be clear, the idea isn't to create a new logo. Instead, the petition is calling for the Leafs to go back to the 1930's style Maple Leaf currently found on their alternate jerseys, and drop the "modern" version that's based on the Canadian flag.

The basic argument seems to go like this:

• The modern version is associated with the Ballard era, the darkest period in Leafs history.
  
• The old version has as much (or more) tradition behind it, and was worn for 10 of the Leafs' 11 Cups.
  
• Everyone seems to like the alternate jerseys better these days, so why not make them permanent?

What do you think? I posed the question on twitter today and the feedback was mixed.

The more I think about it, the more I'm leaning towards keeping the current leaf. Here's why:

It's simple - There's something to be said for simplicity in a logo. These days, every team seems to want to create some overly-complicated monstrosity, full of hidden symbolism and influences (as no doubt explained to team executives in a powerpoint presentation delivered by some guy wearing horn-rimmed glasses and outrageously complex facial hair).

I've always thought that a good logo should be able to pass this test: can a little kid draw it on his pencil case? The modern 11-point leaf can, with a little practice. The 1930s version? Not so much.

(Do kids today even have pencil cases? Do they still know how to use pencils? Do I need to update my rule to something like "does it look good as a small icon for an app on a five-year-old's iphone"? Get off my lawn.)

I have about 8,000 items with the old logo in my house - Seriously, it's everywhere. Bottle openers, salt and pepper shakers, pillows... Apparently when you're Christmas shopping for a Leafs fan, you just buy the first thing you see with a logo on it and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that I don't feel like replacing every item in my house. And I think my personal convenience needs to be a priority for everyone on this one.

It's all about the flag - Have you ever stopped to really think about the fact that the Maple Leafs' logo is a direct ripoff of our national flag? That, my friends, takes some serious grapefruits. Even the Yankees and Cowboys don't go stealing national symbols.

And as a Leaf fan living in hostile territory, I can tell you that the flag thing drives non-Leaf fans crazy. And if you can convincingly pretend that you think the Canadian flag is actually based on the Maple Leafs logo and not the other way around, there's a 50% chance the other fan will have a stroke on the spot. That has to be worth something, right?

So that's my argument: the current logo is better because it's simple, it's all over my house, and it annoys people. I think I'm on pretty solid ground here, but I'm open to being swayed.

What do you think?